Thursday, January 29, 2015

Why I haven't been blogging

Hello guys! I am currently on a break between jobs and it has been amazing -
don't get me wrong ha, hindi sa ayaw ko magtrabaho, I've just been dying to get a break.
You know how in school, kids get summer off and they have all kinds of holidays
within the school year? Work is kind of the same thing except instead of getting
a two-week break, you just get a day or two... Maybe every 5 months..................

My point is (may point talaga ako guys), it was hard for me to think about my art
because of how busy I was. Obviously there are people who are a lot busier than I am,
but I'm just talking about me here okay. I lost the inspiration to draw and take pictures
and I didn't feel happy with myself at all. I didn't want to blog because I didn't feel like 
there was anything worth sharing. I didn't feel like I was going in the right direction,
honestly. Nothing was wrong with my old job and the people there are awesome and I
love them to bits and we still talk and they became my best friends for the one year 
I was there, pero I guess the job itself just wasn't the right fit for me. 

I love everything about my course kasi, okay - when I chose it, it was because it was 
what I really wanted to do for the rest of my life. School was super hard and there were a lot
of sleepless nights working on three paintings + a video + an animation all at once, but I was happy.
I realized after graduation that when I'm not surrounded by things that I love every day,
nabubulok yung brain ko. I legit get really sad about it and then I sit by myself trying to
draw but I just end up staring at a blank page tapos I get even sadder and frustrated with
myself because I can't come up with anything. I'd go online to see batch mates doing
things they want to do and I see them growing and getting better at their craft and duh,
obviously I can't help but get jealous. 

I felt like I was gonna be left behind and I wouldn't be able to catch up anymore.
Basta I was at a really low point ok HAHAHA iyak nalang us guys

So ayon, now I'm on a break - the longest break I've been on in a year, and I can't even
begin to explain how much I needed this. I could finally relax and not think about anything
for a while, tapos I got to catch up on sleep pa. I got to see friends and actually spend time
with them (hindi na mga minamadaling lunch break or just dinner - cos hello there's too
much to talk about how the hell do you fit that conversation into an hour or less tapos
texting and chatting aren't fun cos duh wouldn't you prefer looking at an actual
person when you're updating them about your life?!??) 

There were a few freelance gigs where I got to hold a camera and take real photos, 
and then I finally got to wear clothes I've been wanting to wear without thinking
about looking professional and all that. I've been using my free time din to fix my
room because I've been wanting to do that for a while now - there was too much
clutter but I just never had the time to throw things out and organize. Tapos
oh ehm gee guys, guess what. I STARTED DRAWING AGAIN AS IN!!!
(This last bit is such a big deal to me)
I feel like I'm getting myself back and it's making me really happy.

Sorry if this post seemed a bit serious (because I am never serious on this blog?!??!),
pero I just felt like explaining my long disappearance, haha! I really love telling 
stories though, so even if  it's late, I plan to blog everything that's happened over
the past year kasi I'm super ganado na right now and I don't want to lose that inspiration
ever ever ever again, he he he

2 comments:

  1. Happy for you and hope to see more drawings soon! :D

    ReplyDelete